


Breaking His Own Rules

by Ely



Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Blow Jobs, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Kink, Mild S&M, Spoilers, and when I say mild I mean very mild
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 05:08:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8432989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ely/pseuds/Ely
Summary: Saeran is scared and ashamed of his own past. He doesn't think he deserves happiness, but when Yoosung asks him to hang out, he can't help but feel a desire to impress him.





	

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING: This fic contains spoilers for 707's route.

He knew Saeyoung was only trying to help, but Saeran couldn’t help but feel annoyed.

“I don’t need you to do this.”

“But I _want_ to!” he insisted, grabbing his brother’s wrist and dragging him off the sofa and towards his bedroom.

“Well, I _don’t_ want you to,” Saeran huffed, as Saeyoung threw him into the bedroom and opened the doors to his wardrobe before rummaging through it.

“You need other friends, Saeran,” Saeyoung pointed out, throwing a sweater in the general direction of his twin, “You can’t just stay shut in here all the time,”

Saeran groaned. He really wasn’t going to take no for an answer.

“Besides, Yoosung’s nice. You’ll get on well,” Saeyoung continued as a pair of black jeans landed on Saeran’s head. He pulled them off grumpily and threw them to the floor. “Now, get dressed and I’ll drive you over.”

“Hmm…” Saeran pretended to think about it for a moment, “No.”

“ _Saeran,_ ” whined Saeyoung.

“I don’t _want to_ ,” Saeran said, clenching his fists at his sides and hating himself when they started shaking.

Saeyoung just wanted him to be happy. Did his stupid brother not realise that he didn’t _deserve_ to be happy? Did he not realise that the chances of the rest of the RFA forgiving him as quickly as him and his girlfriend seemed to was incredibly unlikely? Saeran was 99% certain that none of them would _ever_ forgive him for what he had put them through, and quite frankly he didn’t blame them.

Saeyoung had even made him an official account for the RFA chat, but whenever Saeran said anything it was always followed by an awkward pause and a hasty change of subject.

They were uncomfortable around him. That much was obvious.

He was a toxic reminder of a past they were all trying so desperately to forget.

“Does Yoosung even know that you’re forcing me to go to his house?” Saeran asked. Turning up unannounced would just make things worse.

“Of course he does, idiot,” Saeyoung sighed, throwing a pair of boxers and some socks at his brother, “He’s the one who suggested it.”

Saeran was thrown off for a second. “He… what?”

“Believe it or not, not everyone is filled with hatred for you, Saeran,” Saeyoung announced, slamming the wardrobe shut and spinning around to face his brother and the clothes lying on the floor. “Now, get dressed. Unless you want me to help you with that too?”

“Piss off,” growled Saeran, his head still spinning from what his brother had said.

When Saeyoung left the room, Saeran’s knees gave way and he sat on his bed. Yoosung had _asked_ to see him? Was that true? Or was Saeyoung just lying to him to make him feel better? He didn’t particularly want to go, but if Yoosung had suggested it he couldn’t help but feel curious. And Saeyoung clearly wasn’t going to let this go, so he supposed he should probably go anyway, even if it was just to get his stupid brother off his back.

He pulled off the pyjamas he’d been wearing for four days straight before realising he probably should shower first. Maybe Saeyoung was right. He really needed to get out the house more often.

* * *

Saeyoung pulled up outside Yoosung’s house and turned to Saeran in the passenger seat. He was glaring out the window, refusing to look at his brother.

“We’re here.”

“I am aware.”

“Come on, lighten up. Yoosung’s super excited to see you!”

Saeran turned to his brother incredulously, ignoring how his heart leapt a little at the comment. “You expect me to believe that?”

“Well he was pretty excited when he suggested it. He wants to play LOLOL with you.”

Saeran rolled his eyes. This was stupid.

Saeyoung led him to Yoosung’s flat and knocked on the door before Saeran had even had the chance to mentally prepare himself.

“Wait…”

The door opened.

Saeran shut his mouth as quickly as he’d opened it at the sight of the wide purple eyes which got even wider with excitement at the sight of him.

“Saeran!” Yoosung exclaimed, “I’m glad you came!”

Perhaps Saeyoung hadn’t been lying? Maybe Yoosung had genuinely wanted to see him?

“Okay, well, I gotta go,” Saeyoung said after a moment’s pause.

“What?” Saeran shot, snapping his head round to look at his brother.

“You guys have fun!” he chanted before practically sprinting down the corridor. Probably excited to bang his girlfriend without Saeran in the next room.

“Idiot,” murmured Saeran under his breath.

“So… Saeran, do you want to come in?” asked Yoosung, stepping back against the door so Saeran could walk past.

“Uh… sure,” he replied, squeezing past the shorter boy.

He stepped into the apartment and glanced around. It was a small studio apartment, but rather than seeming cramped it felt cosy. Yoosung had clearly gone through some kind of effort to clean up, but Saeran could still see a pair of jeans and a jacket slung over the sofa and Yoosung’s pyjamas on the unmade bed. There were a couple of dirty plates in the sink, and the floor was littered with a few chocolate wrappers and crisp packets. Yoosung darted past him to pick some up.

“Sorry about the mess,” he apologised, starting to sound a little worried, “And sorry it isn’t that big.”

“That’s fine,” Saeran said, “You’re a student.”

This seemed to ease Yoosung’s worry a little.

“So, what do you want to do?” asked Yoosung. Saeran looked at him, eyebrows furrowed.

“I… uh… I thought you had plans?”

“Well… yeah, but I mean it’s just playing LOLOL,” Yoosung said sheepishly, looking at his feet and blushing slightly, “I wasn’t sure if you’d want to do anything more interesting.”

“That’s okay, I’ve never played before,” said Saeran, “LOLOL sounds fun.”

Yoosung squealed and Saeran couldn’t help but crack a tiny, _tiny_ smile.

Yoosung grabbed an uncomfortable looking wooden chair and dragged it to the left of his gaming chair. To Saeran’s surprise, Yoosung sat on the wooden one.

“Uh… aren’t you sitting on your normal chair?”

“Huh? Oh, no, you can sit there!”

“Really?” Saeran asked, his eyes widening. It was such a small gesture, but for some reason it was making his chest tighten and his throat choke up. He angrily blinked back tears.

“Of course! You’re the guest!” Yoosung pointed out.

Saeran sat stiffly in the chair. It was one of those chairs with wheels that spins round, and Saeran usually loved those sorts of chairs, but he felt awkward in front of Yoosung.

“You know, for a student you have a pretty elaborate gaming system,” Saeran observed, tilting his head slightly towards the setup. It was nothing he wasn’t used to, but he found himself surprised that Yoosung had a dual monitor.

“Well, it’s pretty much my life,” Yoosung giggled, and then stopped abruptly, “I mean… I do other stuff too… I just… I just play this a lot too…” he stammered. Saeran smirked.

“That’s fine. I don’t have any hobbies.”

“You… you don’t?” asked Yoosung, sounding surprised.

“Unless you count staring at the sky."

“Well… I guess that could be interesting,” Yoosung commented, but he was clearly struggling to understand.

“It’s more the clouds than the sky,” Saeran confessed, before shaking his head. Why was he telling him this? “Anyway, are you going to show me how to play this?”

“Right! Yes, of course! Maybe this can be your new hobby? We can play together!” Yoosung gushed, “We can’t play multiplayer right now, but if you got the game yourself we could play online together? I was thinking we could make you an account and then I’ll show you how it works?”

“Go ahead,” Saeran replied.

Yoosung loaded up the game, and Saeran noticed that he was at an awkward angle having to lean towards him slightly to reach the mouse.

“Are you sure you don’t want to switch seats?” asked Saeran.

“Huh? Oh! It’s fine, I don’t mind.”

“It makes more sense for you to sit here.”

“But I don’t want you to have to sit in this chair.”

“I really don’t mind,” Saeran sighed, “Besides, it’ll be awkward when I have to lean across to play.”

“Huh? You won’t have to lean across?” Yoosung asked, looking at him confused.

“I’m left-handed.”

“Really?!” Yoosung exclaimed.

“Yeah, so we’ll have to change the mouse settings anyway and then I’d have to lean across you unless we switch seats.”

It ended up with Yoosung just switching the chairs around so that Saeran was still on the more comfortable one.

Whatever. Saeran didn’t care _that_ much. He wasn’t sure why Yoosung was so insistent over the whole thing.

“I like your hair, by the way,” Yoosung mumbled absentmindedly, staring at the screen and clicking a few times to set up a new account.

“You… what?”

Yoosung’s head suddenly snapped to look up at Saeran with wide eyes, “I… I didn’t mean to say that out loud!” he squeaked.

“Oh… that’s alright,” Saeran wasn’t entirely sure how to respond.

“I just meant… your natural hair colour,” Yoosung confessed, blushing furiously, “Not that the white and pink was bad or anything! Just… this is nice. It suits you better.”

“Right… thank you,” Saeran replied. He felt sort of uncomfortable. His face was heating up and he started picking at his nails.

“Although… I have a question,” Yoosung said.

“Go for it.”

“Why are your eyes green? Aren’t you and Seven identical?”

Saeran blinked for a moment. He didn’t think anyone would notice something like that.

“Contacts,” he admitted, “I started wearing them before, and… well, I like them."

“I like them too!” Yoosung said triumphantly. Saeran felt his cheeks heat up again, and he quickly looked away from the blond, watching the screen as Yoosung loaded the game.

The next half an hour, Yoosung showed him the controls of the game. It seemed simple enough, and Saeran was a fast learner. He found himself wanting to impress Yoosung for some reason. Perhaps this was what it was like to have a friend? Were he and Yoosung friends? He wasn’t sure.

“Are we friends?” he blurted out suddenly, looking at Yoosung. He wasn’t embarrassed for asking the question, but looking at Yoosung’s startled expression he quickly found himself regretting it. “Never mind,” he mumbled, turning back to the screen.

“What? Of course we are!” Yoosung exclaimed. Saeran turned back to look at him.

“Really?”

“Yeah! Well… I mean, if you want to be…” Yoosung stammered, “I just thought it could be fun to hang out together. I want to know you better.”

“Why?”

“What?”

“Why do you want to know me better?” Saeran asked. It would be better to cut himself off from Yoosung before he got too deep into this ‘friendship’. He wanted Yoosung to think this through properly before jumping into the train wreck that was Saeran’s life.

“Well… you’re Seven’s brother. You’re a member of the RFA. You seem like a good person…”

Saeran snorted, “A good person? Yoosung, do you know what I did?”

“Well… yes, I do,” Yoosung admitted, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand, his eyes flicking away from Saeran’s for a moment as he tried to stop himself appearing so flustered at the sudden bombardment of questions, “You went thought a lot. I want to help you.”

“Am I a replacement for Saeyoung?”

“What do you mean?”

“From what I know, you two used to hang out a lot. Now he has a girlfriend he probably doesn’t have much time for you anymore.” What Saeran said sounded blunt, even though he hadn’t exactly intended it that way. Yoosung didn’t seem offended though.

“No,” Yoosung shook his head, “You’re not a replacement. I want to get to know the real you. I used to always make mistakes like that – where I compared people to other people. For the longest time I wanted someone to replace Rika. But people can’t be replaced. Even if you’re his identical twin you still aren’t the same person. I just want to know _you._ ”

Saeran wasn’t sure what to say to this little speech. He opened his mouth and then closed it again, unable to tear his eyes away from Yoosung’s.

“Thank you,” he said finally, after a pause that probably lasted far too long, “I didn’t… I didn’t expect to be forgiven for what I did.”

“That’s in the past now! And you’ve definitely changed since then,” Yoosung smiled widely at him, “Are you hungry?”

“I… what?”

“I can get some food. What would you like?”

“Oh… I’m not really hungry.”

“What’s your favourite food?” Yoosung pressed.

“I’m honestly not hungry.”

“No, I know,” he said too innocently, “I’m just wondering what your favourite food is.”

“You’re not going to get it for me, right?”

“Nope!” Yoosung shook his head so violently that Saeran couldn’t help rolling his eyes.

“Ice cream,” Saeran said, and Yoosung jumped out of his chair and rushed to the kitchen, “But don’t get me any!”

“I’m not!” Yoosung lied, visibly pulling ice cream out the freezer.

In that moment Saeran felt his lips curve upwards and a strange noise left his throat. A laugh. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d genuinely laughed out loud at anything. He stopped the noise abruptly, but Yoosung was already staring at him, grinning.

“What?” Saeran snapped defensively.

“You have a nice laugh,” Yoosung said as he bounced back over to Saeran with a tub of ice cream and two spoons.

“And you’re a terrible liar,” Saeran said, raising his eyebrows.

“I’m not lying! You do have a nice laugh!” Yoosung insisted. Saeran looked pointedly at the two spoons Yoosung was clutching. “Oh… well… it’s for me.”

“Two spoons.”

“Both for me.”

“Sure, okay,” Saeran fought back a grin as he turned back to the computer and started playing a new round.

After a few minutes of Yoosung shoveling the ice cream into his mouth, Saeran’s mouth was watering. His eyes flicked longingly to the pile heaped on Yoosung’s spoon, and watched as the younger boy wrapped his lips around it. Yoosung caught his staring.

“Want some?” he offered, grinning toothily and holding out the second spoon.

“Nope,” Saeran insisted stubbornly, “I thought that spoon was for you anyway.”

“I’ve suddenly realised I don’t need two,” Yoosung said, picking up the second spoon and digging it into the ice cream before holding it out for Saeran. Saeran just stared at it for a moment before looking up at Yoosung, confused. “Take it.”

“I don’t want it.”

“You obviously do,” Yoosung said, rolling his eyes. He lifted the spoon to hold it near Saeran’s mouth, “Don’t make me feed it to you.”

“Is that a threat?” Saeran asked, quirking an eyebrow.

“Maybe.”

Saeran leaned in and took the spoon and ice cream into his mouth, pulling the spoon from Yoosung’s grasp and grabbing it with his own hand.

“Mmm.” He made a noise of appreciation at the taste and shut his eyes as he pulled the spoon from his mouth.

Yoosung was being strangely quiet. Saeran opened his eyes to look at him and saw that he was blushing furiously.

“What’s wrong?” asked Saeran.

“I… nothing,” Yoosung said hurriedly, turning back to the computer screen and yanking the mouse from Saeran’s side of the desk.

“What is it?” Saeran was genuinely confused. Had he done something bad?

“Honestly. Nothing. Don’t worry,” Yoosung spoke shortly, struggling to use the mouse which was on the left-handed setting.

“Fine,” Saeran sighed. Perhaps he had outstayed his welcome. He stood up, and Yoosung looked up at him.

“Where are you going?”

“I’ll get Saeyoung to pick me up."

“What?! Why?” Yoosung asked, joining him standing, looking at him worriedly with his big, purple eyes.

“I’ve been here a while. I don’t want to stay too long."

“Please stay,” Yoosung begged.

Saeran didn’t have a response to this. Why in God’s name would Yoosung want him to stay?

“Please.”

“I… I thought you wanted me to go?” Saeran said, incredibly confused at Yoosung’s seemingly random changes in mood.

Suddenly, Yoosung’s arms had thrown themselves around Saeran and his head was buried in his neck. Saeran stood there awkwardly, unsure of how to respond to this sudden touch. He hadn’t been hugged by anyone other than his brother in his entire life. Yoosung’s warm body was pressed up against him, his soft hair tickling his jaw. Saeran felt heat rushing to his face and his breath caught in his throat. What was this feeling…?

Before he had a chance to comprehend or even respond to the hug, Yoosung pulled away, embarrassed.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, looking anywhere but Saeran, “You can go if you want.”

Yoosung reached up and ran his fingers nervously through his blond hair before Saeran caught hold of his wrist. Yoosung looked at him suddenly, and their eyes locked.

Saeran could feel something in his chest, like a sort of warmth. His breathing quickened and his palms were sweating. He gulped nervously as he looked into the younger boy’s shining eyes before moving slowly down his face to his lips. They were pink and looked smooth and soft, slightly parted as his breathing came out in shallow pants in rhythm with Saeran’s.

Before Saeran knew what was happening, he found his body leaning towards Yoosung so his face inched closer. He was close enough to feel Yoosung’s warm breath mingling with his, brushing against his lips, and his eyes flicked back up to look at Yoosung’s. He was surprised to find them closed, and the younger boy’s face was ever so slightly tilted up towards Saeran.

Saeran wasn’t sure what he was feeling, and he didn’t have time to properly analyse it before he felt his lips press gently against Yoosung’s and his eyes flutter shut. Just as he’d expected, Yoosung’s lips were soft and smooth. He hadn’t expected, however, to feel waves of heat shoot through his body from their joined lips and through the skin-to-skin contact between Saeran’s hand and Yoosung’s wrist. It was innocent and brief before Saeran pulled away in surprise at what he had done.

He dropped Yoosung’s wrist and looked at him, panicked, as the shorter boy opened his eyes.

“I… oh God, I’m sorry, I don’t know why I did that. That was stupid, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to-” but he was cut off by Yoosung grabbing hold of the top of his sweater and pulling his face back towards him, crashing their lips together.

Saeran gasped at the sudden contact, and Yoosung took the opportunity to slide his tongue into the other boy’s mouth. Saeran’s hands very quickly found their way to Yoosung’s waist while Yoosung’s remained grasping hold of his sweater. It was clumsy at first, their teeth crashing together as they got used to each other’s rhythm, but they soon found the right pace and their tongues slid blissfully together.

Yoosung’s hand gradually made their way up to snake their way around Saeran’s neck and Saeran gripped his waist tighter, pulling him towards him firmly so their bodies were pressed up against each other.

As he pulled him closer, Saeran felt something hard press against his thigh briefly before Yoosung yelped and jumped away. He refused to make eye contact, breathing heavily.

“I… I’m sorry,” Yoosung squeaked, blushing as red as Saeran’s hair. Saeran just grinned and pressed a finger against his lips, swollen from kissing Yoosung.

“Nothing to be sorry about,” said Saeran, “Except pulling away.”

Yoosung looked up at him. “You… you don’t mind?”

Saeran shrugged. “Not really,” he said, stepping towards the shorter boy and gripping his hips, jerking him closer. He gazed into his eyes for a moment before blinking, and diving his face into his neck. Yoosung squealed as Saeran’s lips latched themselves onto the sensitive spot, sucking gently and nipping at his skin ever so slightly. Soon enough, Yoosung’s hands found their way to Saeran’s hair, knotting themselves in the red locks and pulling his head more firmly against his neck.

At the sound of Yoosung’s soft moans and shallow breaths, Saeran felt something stirring in his boxers, and felt the sudden urge to grind against Yoosung’s thigh. He thought that might be a little inappropriate though.

Saeran pulled away from Yoosung’s neck as he whimpered in protest, and pressed his lips against Yoosung’s again. The kisses were getting heavier and both of their bodies were heating up. The sofa was closer than the bed, and so Saeran made the split second decision to guide Yoosung over to it and push him down. He lay on his back as Saeran carried on kissing him.

Suddenly Yoosung pulled away and pulled Saeran’s neck towards his mouth before sucking the spot that drove Saeran crazy. He could feel Yoosung’s teeth tugging at his skin and his tongue running across his neck, and if he wasn’t hard before he definitely was now.

“Saeran,” Yoosung murmured against his neck.

“Mmhm,” Saeran voiced in response.

“Can I… can I touch you?”

Saeran pulled back to look into Yoosung’s eyes, his breath disappearing for a moment at the intensity of the look he gave him.

“Are you sure?” he asked softly.

“Yes,” said the smaller boy with certainty. Saeran leaned in so his lips were lightly brushing Yoosung’s.

“Okay,” he whispered, and he felt Yoosung shudder with excitement. Yoosung gently sat up and pushed Saeran into a sitting position. He swung a leg over Saeran’s legs so he was kneeling either side, and reached his hands down to undo Saeran’s jeans, pressing his lips against the redhead’s. Saeran could feel his body heating up, and he gripped hold of Yoosung’s shirt to pull his lips closer.

Yoosung slid a warm hand down Saeran’s jeans and boxers, suddenly grasping his erection. Saeran gasped at the sudden touch, and his hips bucked slightly into Yoosung, which made him giggle. Saeran grunted in response as Yoosung started gently moving his hand along Saeran’s length.

Saeran couldn’t keep up with the kissing, and so Yoosung latched himself onto his neck again. Saeran tugged at Yoosung’s shirt, lifting it slightly, and Yoosung pulled away from Saeran so he could help him pull it off. The sudden absence of Yoosung’s hand round his cock was painful, but once Yoosung’s shirt was gone, the younger boy slid his way to the floor so he was kneeling between Saeran’s knees. He tugged at his jeans and Saeran lifted his hips so that Yoosung could pull them down.

Once he was in just his boxers, Yoosung reached up to pull them off too, but Saeran grabbed hold of his wrist. He was breathing heavily, and as much as he wanted this, he wanted to make absolutely sure Yoosung did too.

Yoosung looked up at Saeran, and the look in his eyes almost made Saeran come right then and there.

“I want to do this.”

With that, Yoosung hooked his fingers around Saeran’s boxers and tugged them down, freeing his erection.

All of a sudden, Saeran felt self-conscious. He was completely exposed and Yoosung was just… staring. Perhaps he’d changed his mind?

“I can’t believe this is happening,” he whispered dreamily.

“What?” asked Saeran. Yoosung reached out and grasped the base of Saeran’s dick in his hand, making Saeran twitch slightly.

“I… I’ve been attracted to you ever since I first saw you,” Yoosung confessed, and Saeran could do nothing but stare at him with his mouth open, “I can’t believe you feel the same way.”

Did he feel the same way? Saeran barely had time to even think about that question before Yoosung took him into his mouth and started bobbing his head up and down. Saeran groaned and his hands grasped Yoosung’s hair as his hips started thrusting to meet Yoosung’s mouth. Yoosung let out the occasional moan against his dick, which just intensified the sensation.

Yoosung was sloppy and inexperienced, but somehow that just made the entire thing hotter to Saeran. Before long, he could feel himself getting close.

“Swallow for me,” he demanded suddenly, and Yoosung murmured a positive sounding response. The vibrations caused by Yoosung’s mouth pushed Saeran over the edge, and with one last thrust into the younger boy’s mouth he released against the back of his throat, grunting fragmented versions of Yoosung’s name and gripping his hair so tightly it must have hurt.

Eventually, Saeran collapsed backwards, his hands dropping to his sides, panting heavily as Yoosung let his dick fall out of his mouth with a soft ‘pop’.

Saeran opened his suddenly tired eyes, watching as Yoosung licked his lips.

“You… you swallowed?” he asked incredulously.

“You asked me to,” shrugged Yoosung.

“You didn’t have to.”

“I wanted to.”

Saeran grabbed his boxers from next to him on the sofa and pulled them back on as Yoosung crawled up onto the sofa and sat next to him, resting his head on his shoulder. Saeran awkwardly rested his hands on his lap, unsure where else to put them.

Saeran didn’t really know what people usually said after receiving a blow job, and so there was silence for a moment.

“Thank you,” he decided on eventually. Yoosung let out a small noise of acknowledgement.

“I enjoyed it,” the younger boy confessed.

“Really?”

“Mmhm.”

Another pause.

“Did you… did you really mean what you said?”

“Which part?”

“Where you said… you’ve always been attracted to me?”

“Huh?” Yoosung lifted his head slightly, and Saeran turned to look at him, “Oh, right. Yes, of course.”

“Why?” asked Saeran curiously.

“I don’t know… there was just something about you that drew me in,” Yoosung shrugged and then happily said, “And the fact that I actually got lucky enough to do _that_ for you… it just seems unreal.”

“Do you want me to… uh… repay you?” Saeran asked cautiously. Yoosung looked up at him with bright eyes.

“I mean… if you want to…” he said, trying to hide his excitement. Saeran grinned crookedly at him before pushing Yoosung down so he was lying on his back.

Saeran started by kissing Yoosung’s neck, before feeling a slight tug at his sweater and a noise of complaint. He lifted his head and looked at the blond.

“What is it?”

“Take it off?” Yoosung requested nervously. Saeran smirked before moving into a more upright position to pull off his sweater and vest. In the process, his butt ‘accidentally’ ended up grinding against Yoosung’s crotch, causing him to whimper.

Once Saeran had tossed his clothes to the side, he leaned down and left a trail of kisses down Yoosung’s smooth chest. He felt Yoosung grip hold of his biceps, digging his nails in slightly as he bucked his hips up towards Saeran. Saeran eventually reached the waistband of his jeans and slowly unbuttoned them before sliding them down. He could see the frustrated bulge in Yoosung’s boxers and couldn’t help but smile. This was for _him_.

All of a sudden, the answer to the question he had asked himself earlier seemed obvious. Of _course_ he felt the same way about Yoosung. He was gradually coming to accept that. He wanted to be close to him. He wanted to hold him close and feel the heat of his body against his as they cuddled or slept or had sex. He had never so desperately wanted to be this close to another person. For a while, he had been worried he was broken beyond repair. He was worried he would never be able to love or feel any kind of emotional connection ever again. He had given himself a set of rules, and one of those rules was that he was not allowed to desire any kind of love.

Yoosung was making him break all of his rules.

He gently kissed Yoosung through his boxers, causing the other boy to whimper. Saeran spotted a wet patch of pre-come which had soaked through the blue fabric, and he felt pride swell up inside him. He wanted to make Yoosung feel good. He wanted to feel the younger boy arch under him and hear him whimper out his name as his brain and coherent thoughts were clouded with pleasure.

Saeran tugged down Yoosung’s boxers, allowing Yoosung to spring free. He trailed his fingers lazily up from Yoosung’s knee before circling them around on Yoosung’s inner thigh. The blond was squirming beneath him as he teased him, brushing _so close_ yet not quite there.

All of a sudden, Saeran gripped hold of the base of Yoosung’s dick, and Yoosung inhaled sharply, his entire body tensing. The air was still and Saeran loved the fact that Yoosung was entirely under his control.

_But he wasn’t losing control._

The thought hit Saeran suddenly. Despite the fact he was _in_ control, he wasn’t _losing_ control as he probably would have done a few weeks… hell, probably even a few _hours_ ago. He wasn’t hearing any of the voices in the back of his head urging him to hurt Yoosung while he was vulnerable. All he could hear was the sound of Yoosung’s shallow breaths and whimpers as Saeran started slowly moving his hand up and down. He realised with a sudden intensity that he hadn’t had any toxic thoughts ever since he had arrived at Yoosung’s house.

He shut his eyes and willed himself to stop thinking so hard. He just wanted to make Yoosung feel good. Gradually, he leaned forwards and flicked his tongue against the tip of Yoosung’s dick. The blond whimpered in response and bucked his hips up.

“So eager,” murmured Saeran, before finally giving Yoosung what he wanted and taking as much of his length in his mouth as he possibly could. Yoosung’s hands gripped hold on the sofa until Saeran snaked one of his up and laced their fingers together. Yoosung’s other hand was raised above his head, gripping the edge of the sofa as Saeran slid his lips and tongue up and down. He found his free hand was holding down Yoosung’s hips to stop him from bucking up into him.

He wanted control, but not in the same way as before.

He wanted to watch Yoosung become completely undone underneath him.

Saeran worked his lips and tongue, digging his nails slightly into Yoosung’s hip, causing the other boy to cry out in a feeling that was somewhere between pain and pleasure.

“S-Saeran,” Yoosung breathed.

“Mmm,” Saeran mumbled in response around Yoosung’s dick, which made Yoosung shudder and whimper.

“C-can you… _oh_ … can you… scratch my chest?”

It was such a strange request, but somehow it felt right. Saeran lightly ran his fingernails from Yoosung’s hips up to his chest and pressed them firmly into him before dragging them down his body.

Yoosung cried out, “ _Oh_ _God yes!_ ” His moans were like music to Saeran’s ears. He raised his hand up Yoosung’s body again and dragged his nails down again.

“S-Saeran… I’m going to… _euugh._ ”

Saeran didn’t need the warning, he could feel Yoosung tensing for his orgasm under him, and all of a sudden Yoosung cried out incoherently, arching his back up and pressing his hips as close to Saeran as he possibly could. His free hand flew down and gripped a fistful of Saeran’s hair. Saeran dug his nails in harder and squeezed Yoosung’s hand as the younger boy pretty much crushed his own to intensify the orgasm. He felt something hot and salty spill into his mouth as Yoosung moaned and writhed under him.

“S-Saeran!” he cried out as Saeran didn’t stop moving his head up and down, forcing Yoosung to ride out his orgasm almost for longer than he could handle.

Eventually, Saeran slowed to a stop and Yoosung’s hand fell limply from his hair. Saeran pulled up, letting Yoosung’s dick fall out of his mouth as he attempted to swallow the bitterness in his mouth. He grimaced slightly at the taste, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand to get rid of any that might have dripped out.

He looked at Yoosung to find him staring at him with hazy eyes and a small smile on his lips.

“You swallowed too,” he observed.

“I didn’t have much choice,” shrugged Saeran, feeling suddenly embarrassed. He climbed off Yoosung and sat on the edge of the sofa before grabbing his vest and pulling it over his head. Yoosung sat up and grabbed his boxers, pulling them back on.

He sat a little distance from Saeran, a space between them which was probably just a centimetre or two, but to Saeran felt like miles. He subtly shuffled closer so their bare thighs pressed together.

“That was amazing,” Yoosung breathed, and Saeran turned his head to him to find the boy looking at him – admiring him.

“I enjoyed it,” Saeran said, a small smile finding its way to his lips. All of a sudden, Yoosung flushed slightly and his eyes flicked to Saeran’s lips for a second and then away from his face altogether.

“Is it okay if… um…?”

“If what?”

“I… no, never mind. It’s weird,” Yoosung dismissed, looking to the floor, shaking his head.

“Yoosung,” Saeran whispered, leaning close to his ear, making Yoosung shudder at the feel of his hot breath against his skin, “Tell me.”

“I… can I kiss you?”

Saeran blinked for a moment. Yoosung wanted to kiss him? But he’d just sucked him off. Why would he want that?

“You want to kiss me?”

“Sorry, I know it’s weird.”

“I… no, it’s fine,” Saeran said, his hand finding Yoosung’s and lacing their fingers together. Yoosung looked at him, traces of a grin on his face.

“Really?”

Saeran responded by leaning in and pressing his lips against Yoosung’s. Yoosung eagerly opened his mouth and they briefly slid their tongues together before the salty aftertaste of his own release made Saeran pull away.

“Sorry,” he apologised guiltily, “Maybe next time we can kiss when you haven’t… you know, for me,” he pointed to his crotch.

“Right, yes, okay,” said Yoosung, “So… there will be a next time?”

Saeran’s eyes widened. Shit. Had he said that? “Oh… uh, I mean, if you want there to be.”

Yoosung squeezed his hand, “I do,” he said happily.

There was a soft buzzing coming from Saeran’s jean pocket on the floor. Someone was calling him.

“Ah, sorry, I should see who that is,” he apologised, sliding his hand out of Yoosung’s and kneeling on the floor to retrieve his phone from his pocket. It was Saeyoung.

“Hello,” he said, slightly irritated.

“Saeran! How are you? Are you and Yoosung having fuuuun?”

“What?!” spluttered Saeran, before realising Saeyoung just meant playing LOLOL, not giving each other blow jobs. “Oh, right, yeah.”

“Do you want me to come pick you up soon?”

Saeran glanced over at Yoosung, sitting on the sofa in nothing besides his boxers. He really wanted to stay, but he probably shouldn’t keep his brother waiting.

“Okay.”

“Cool, I’m outside now.”

“Wait… _now?!_ ”

“Yup! I’ll come up and get you.”

Saeyoung hung up and Saeran shot a panicked glance at Yoosung.

“Saeyoung’s here. He’s on his way up,” Yoosung’s eyes widened as the two boys scrambled around for their clothes.

Yoosung had barely pulled on his shirt before there was a knock at the door.

“Wait!” Saeran all but squealed as Yoosung started heading over to open it. He leapt over the sofa and frantically tried to flatten down Yoosung’s hair. It didn’t really work that well, but he supposed Yoosung’s hair was usually messy anyway. Yoosung returned the favour, flattening Saeran’s hair at the back and pulling his sweater to straighten it. They both took a deep breath and Yoosung turned to pull open the door.

“Saeyoung!” Yoosung exclaimed perhaps a little too excitedly.

“Hey, Yoosung! I’m here to claim my brother back.”

“Right, hi, let’s go,” Saeran said, brushing his body slightly against Yoosung’s as he walked past to leave. He felt a small hand snake its way round his wrist, tugging him to a stop. Saeran turned to look at Yoosung, whose mouth opened and closed a few times before he managed to speak.

“I’ll call you,” he said, desperately. Saeran allowed himself to give in to the smile that wanted to form on his lips.

“I’ll be waiting,” he replied, and Yoosung’s smile lit up his eyes as he let Saeran’s wrist drop from his grip.

Saeran fell into step beside his twin, and couldn’t help but feel slightly empty when he heard Yoosung’s door shut behind him in the hallway.

Neither brother spoke until they were sat in the car and Saeyoung had pulled out onto the road.

“How was it?” he asked conversationally.

“Good,” Saeran said shortly. He wasn’t sure how much he would be able to say without giving himself away.

“Did you just play with each other?”

Saeran almost choked on his own spit. Was Saeyoung doing this on purpose? Did he somehow know what had happened? “Uh… yeah.”

It wasn’t technically a lie.

He studied his brother’s face, seeing a sly grin form on his mouth.

“So, did you have sex or just make out a bit?”

This time Saeran _actually_ choked on his own spit. “W-what?” he spluttered.

“How far did you go?”

“What gives you the impression anything like _that_ happened?” Saeran said defensively, folding his arms across his chest.

“Well, firstly,” Saeyoung tilted his head towards Saeran slightly, holding up one finger, “You’re not denying it,” Saeyoung stated. Saeran _really_ didn’t like the evil grin forming on his brother’s face, “And secondly,” he continued, holding up a second finger, “You have a huge hickey on your neck.”

Saeran’s hand shot up to his neck as Saeyoung burst into hysterical laughter.

“Asshole,” Saeran mumbled, which just resulted in Saeyoung laughing even harder.

Despite being angry at Saeyoung for being such a jerk, Saeran couldn’t help remembering the feeling of Yoosung’s lips on his neck and how good it had felt to give himself to someone so entirely without the fear of losing control.

In that moment, Saeran realised he would put up with as much of Saeyoung’s shit as was necessary if it meant being able to get that close to Yoosung again. He didn’t care.

Saeran felt his lips curve into an involuntary smile. He knew this feeling wasn’t quite love yet.

But it was pretty damn close.

**Author's Note:**

> Feedback is very much appreciated!


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